So many beautiful ppl and so little time to live. I know how I feel inside and if only I could learn how to put it into action for the ones I love so much.

Sonya you suck for not being there for me when I needed you the most. But thats how it goes huh? all the letters telling me to never give up but in the end it was you who just let the thing we look for our whole lives die slowly and most painfuly. I want to to know I would never ever want to hurt you and I did just that right when we got together. I hope you know I love you just like the day I looked at you in the parking lot in littleton. I will always remember the way you lokked at me and I looked at you and we both said "hi baby" then you took the spot of my first love and will be til I die. I wish you could of had me to help you and we stayed together but I turned myself into prison the day you said (including the extra day you gave me) I will never forget the sound of your pain when I answered the phone. We both just cried. I love you still so much dude and pray everyday the emptieness I feel goes away but it just sits next to me waiting for me to open my eyes in the morning. Im so sorry I had to mess this up so bad but I could never have you know how I felt in those months before and after prison. I would of gave my heart to save you if you needed it. I miss my fuckin wife and hate you just said nothing to me. I really loved you with all I was Sonya. After all the husbands you had and the wives I had we screw up the most beautiful thing besides the truth to ever come into this life. I will leave with this note........... please on my knees I ask for your forgiveness. I miss my fuckin bestie of my damn life ok!!!!!!!!